I am turning 39 on Sunday. Apparently I'm also turning into the old crone in the movie "Princess Bride". In the last few weeks I have noticed something very ODD. The tiniest pieces of skin are popping out in the oddest places....and apparently they are called Skin Tags.
They are harmless.
They are a mystery.
They are annoying.
They are odd and ugly.
The medical world has no idea where they come from.
The medical world is not concerned about them.
Seemingly, NO ONE IS RESEARCHING HOW TO STOP THEM!
And I don't like it.
Apparently you *just* burn them off. JUST BURN THEM OFF!!!! NOT YOURSELF....it's a procedure in a doctors office...hopefully after a few drinks.
Today my Little Girl found them while sitting on my lap during mass. She was running her hands on the side of my neck and said...Mamma, what's this? I replied that it was skin. She gave me the scrunched up nose and snobby voiced answer that only an over confident 2 year old can pull off and said..."No it's not....it's a boo boo...I kiss it now. Go to the doctor."
Now I know I'm not the only woman in the world with these things. It's only since noticing them, and of course, being vocal about them, that people are coming out of their shrouded skin tag silence and admitting that they too have had them.
WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS TO EACH OTHER!??!?! Why don't we talk about this stuff? Why didn't I know about them before???? This reeks of the time I found out women get mustaches (I'm Italian...I learned this early...but still)....why don't women discuss this sort of thing. Apparently....alot of women get skin tags and even though they are annoying....they are usually a benign cosmetic problem. A benign cosmetic problem I'll take instead of other more dramatic issues...but one that is annoying the crap out of me.
OK....so just to recap:
- We get hair on our legs and underarm that we must shave in order to maintain our feminine appeal.
- We have to tweeze, wax or thread our eyebrows, upper lips and apparently as you approach 40...our chins!!!! <---I'm so freakin annoyed with that one.
- We get our monthly friend's arrival with her annoying counterparts of bloat and cramps.
- We get enormous (batting eyelashes) pectoral action that we need to upkeep with horrifically expensive and terribly uncomfortable wire curved straight jackets designed to make us more desirable to once again...maintain our feminine appeal.
- Personal heatwaves await.
- We get to carry our progeny for 10 months (9 months???who are we kidding?) and then we get to try to evacuate them from our bodies from *THE* most sensitive area on our bodies.
- We get to be full time mom's, full time housekeepers and full time workers.
- The list goes on.....
- And now....now....now we introduce Skin Tags.
I'm channeling Rose from "Moonstruck"...."You've got a love bite (skin tag) on your neck...your life is going down the toilet."
Would I trade being a woman?
OK. I'm done. I feel better now.