Skin Tags....what the....?

on Sunday, November 16, 2008

I am turning 39 on Sunday. Apparently I'm also turning into the old crone in the movie "Princess Bride". In the last few weeks I have noticed something very ODD. The tiniest pieces of skin are popping out in the oddest places....and apparently they are called Skin Tags.

They are harmless.

They are a mystery.

They are annoying.

They are odd and ugly.

The medical world has no idea where they come from.

The medical world is not concerned about them.

Seemingly, NO ONE IS RESEARCHING HOW TO STOP THEM!

And I don't like it.

Apparently you *just* burn them off. JUST BURN THEM OFF!!!! NOT YOURSELF....it's a procedure in a doctors office...hopefully after a few drinks.

Today my Little Girl found them while sitting on my lap during mass. She was running her hands on the side of my neck and said...Mamma, what's this? I replied that it was skin. She gave me the scrunched up nose and snobby voiced answer that only an over confident 2 year old can pull off and said..."No it's not....it's a boo boo...I kiss it now. Go to the doctor."

Now I know I'm not the only woman in the world with these things. It's only since noticing them, and of course, being vocal about them, that people are coming out of their shrouded skin tag silence and admitting that they too have had them.

WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS TO EACH OTHER!??!?! Why don't we talk about this stuff? Why didn't I know about them before???? This reeks of the time I found out women get mustaches (I'm Italian...I learned this early...but still)....why don't women discuss this sort of thing. Apparently....alot of women get skin tags and even though they are annoying....they are usually a benign cosmetic problem. A benign cosmetic problem I'll take instead of other more dramatic issues...but one that is annoying the crap out of me.

OK....so just to recap:

  • We get hair on our legs and underarm that we must shave in order to maintain our feminine appeal.
  • We have to tweeze, wax or thread our eyebrows, upper lips and apparently as you approach 40...our chins!!!! <---I'm so freakin annoyed with that one.
  • We get our monthly friend's arrival with her annoying counterparts of bloat and cramps.
  • We get enormous (batting eyelashes) pectoral action that we need to upkeep with horrifically expensive and terribly uncomfortable wire curved straight jackets designed to make us more desirable to once again...maintain our feminine appeal.
  • Personal heatwaves await.
  • We get to carry our progeny for 10 months (9 months???who are we kidding?) and then we get to try to evacuate them from our bodies from *THE* most sensitive area on our bodies.
  • We get to be full time mom's, full time housekeepers and full time workers.
  • The list goes on.....
  • And now....now....now we introduce Skin Tags.

I'm channeling Rose from "Moonstruck"...."You've got a love bite (skin tag) on your neck...your life is going down the toilet."

Would I trade being a woman?

Never.

OK. I'm done. I feel better now.

8 comments:

Andrea said...

i so agree! although i only have one skin tag...so far. it popped up while i was pregnant with my son, just so happens it is on my nipple! of all places! atleast i can hide it but still......
just to add though, my husband has started getting them and is freaking out about it also. i just laugh at him. =0)

Noah's Mommy said...

oh lord...thanks for making my day....not that I'm laughing at your S.T....I'm laughing with you.....men couldn't handle one tenth of the stuff we go through...heck all they do is get hairier and fatter....big whoop...

Gaspegirl said...

I need to google skin tags... I need to see what they look like to know if I have them - lol! Make it a great day!

Karin Katherine said...

hmmmm you also get them when you are pregnant. Are you pregnant? Mine went away when the pregnancy did.

Michelle said...

Both of my parents have them.. Xing my fingers because I haven't had any yet. Maybe there is hope??
LOL!

Adlibby said...

That's hilarious! skin tags are icky. I have one on my neck and my littlest girl likes to poke it and pick at it, which gives me the heeebie-jeebies. Errrrr. She has a thing about the mole on my back to... okay, now I sound like the crone from Princess Bride too.

And in the spirit of warning you about things to come -- here's one. I've never had to shave the back of my thighs... but I swear to God I found a 2" long hair back there last week. What the?!!!!!

Pearl said...

Hello, my name is Pearl and I have Skin Tags.

I too developed them when I was pregnant, but they did not go away! The neck must be a Skin Tag amusment park because I have one there too and my baby likes to poke at in and pull on it as well. I am hoping she will pull it off completely to save me from having to get it BURNED off. You know if Skin Tags were more common with men, the medical community would find a much more humane way of dealing with them, but dont get me started on that...

Thank you for your heartfelt comment on my grandma post, I really appreciate your thoughts. And you are not going to believe this but my MIL is 100% Italian! She must be missing a gene...

Julia said...

Ok, so I have been getting skin tags since I was in my early thirties. So what does that say? Maybe my "real age" age is older than my biological age. I really hope not... I better get bonus age points for all the healthy crap that I do. Good Luck with those tags.