My Wife has tagged me!

on Wednesday, May 27, 2009

This is my first go around on the tag wagon ...so here ya go...

1.What’s your current obsession?

Banking my sleep….I know..I know you can’t bank sleep but I sure try. One of the reason I had such a wonderful holiday weekend this past is because I woke up at 8 every morning and not 5. Then came the day to go back to work….I’m banking on my backup sleep to take me through the week….hmmm…not a bad day back at work….not too tired. Let see if it carry’s through to today….ummmm….NOPE…..DRAT! Needless to say I’m tired again…can’t wait for our vacation on Friday!

2. What’s your weirdest obsession?

Getting worked up about our jackass politicians that are sending our great state of California down the toilet….OH….that really isn’t weird isn’t it?

3. What are you wearing today?

Jeans, hooded high school sweatshirt over a teeshirt, tennis shoes …. It’ casual everyday here at work :)

4. Why is today special?

Every day is special…I’m in love. This is my wife’s but I am plagiarizing it for me :) I’m am madly in love with my wife and my 2 beautiful children.

5. What would you like to learn to do?

Play the piano…. I have a secret passion to do this but fear it too late …I know I know…It’s never too late….but I for now will just have to play air piano on the center arm rest of the car :).

6. What’s the last thing you bought?

A number 10 breakfast at Mickey D’s …. You asked :)

7. What are you listening to right now?

The buzzing of the lights above me

8. What’s your favorite season?

Summer …. I love the long summer days.

9. What’s your most challenging goal right now?

Most immediate challenged is trying to not spill this Mickey D’s coffee on me :) But seriously folks….It has to be…and my wife might concur….Getting our son to LISTEN!! He lost his Wii priveledge last night because ….He didn’t listen once…twice….three times. We felt so bad when the tears came…but our challenge is to stick with the parameters we set….we are not so fearful of the everyday 4 year old not listening…it’s the IF WE SEE A PERIL in front of him and try to warn him that he will just continue to walk….arghhh.

10. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

Ummmm….I love the person who tagged me:) That tagger would have to be the girl of my dreams….the girl that changed my life…the one person that opened up a 40 year old’s eyes. I see a whole new world since I met my wife.

11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure?

Paying a babysitter so my wife and I can go to a movie … It even becomes more guity when our kids the next morning wake and instead of saying “Good Morning Mommy or Daddy” it’s….”Ummm….where is (insert babysitter’s name).

12. Favorite vacation spot?

Anywhere with my wife …This last Italy trip was by far the best vacation I have ever been on…and I would do it over and over again. I will carry with me forever the feeling I had walking at night from the Colossium…by the Roman Forum…all the way to the Trevi Fountain…with my sleepy daughter on my shoulder the whole way…I wanted to call someone I felt so good that night.

13. What would you like to have in your hands right now?

The Deed to a certain Cape Cod home overlooking a certain peninsula

14. What would you like to get rid of?

My Allergys … what I would give to be able to garden our home without fear of the insueing headache that always rears it’s head.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

I’d go to lunch at a little restaurant in a little town called Roggiano Gravina in Calabria, Italy with all of my cousins. (I’m copying this one of my wife’s…that lunch was spectacular…I will always remember that day in Rogginao Gravina)

16. What bad habit do you have that you would like to terminate?

PROCASTINATION! Don’t we all suffer from that? :)

17.What super power would you like to possess?

Would have to be….”leaps tall buildings with a single bound

18. What is the one thing that you have done in your life that you are the most proud of and if you had the chance to do it again you wouldn't change a thing?

Asking my wife to marry me on the boardwalk in Ocean City, New Jersey…on a cold moonlit night…my wife shivering with her hooded sweatshirt covering her head….ferris wheel spinning in the background…and me on one knee :)

19. What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

Ok ok…I’m a guy…but I am wearing my favorite piece of clothing…my high school golf tournament sweatshirt.

20. What’s your dream job?

Doesn’t seem as dreamy anymore, with the advent of Expedia, but I always wanted to be a travel agent…traveling the world…telling people where to go.

21. If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?

Dinner and a movie with my wife!

22. Do you admire anyone’s style?

Yes, I admire quite a few people for different reasons, fashions sense, composure, kindness etc.

23. Describe your personal style:

I am a quiet and unassuming guy….that is my style

24. Who’s fashion show would you want tickets to?

My wifes :)

25. If you could slap one person with no repercussions, who would it be and why?

The Terminator up in Sacramento....(see weird obsessions above)

26. What are you most proud of?

The life I’ve helped to create with my wife.

27. If you could choose one person who has passed to have lunch with who would it be and why?

John Adams…would love to know what he thought of the country today that he helped to create 240 years ago..

It's all about....The Me

on Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Cheryl over at A peek into my life: I've been TAGGED!! has tagged me for a MEME.

So. Here. We. Go.

1.What’s your current obsession?

Peeing. Chalk this one up as too much information, but People….I hold it in….all day long…all night long. My excuse during the day is that I can’t seem to actually make it to the bathroom. I try….I make the effort…but since my attention span seems to have diminished with motherhood…as soon as I head down the hall…I notice something that I should have done 20 minutes ago and I go do it…you know…put laundry away…fold laundry…remind one of the kids that they shouldn’t be playing with the toilet water…manage a current dispute among the offspring…eat a cup of pistachios that happen to be along the way…take a phone call…do my work….field a question from the offspring…and give in to their request to play for just a few minutes on building a marble maze. You know…important stuff. My excuse at night is simple…if I’ve been blessed enough to be in bed and not to have been disturbed by anyone else’s needs…my errr..needs can WAIT! However, my fear is that I will get my youngest out of diapers only to put myself in them.

2. What’s your weirdest obsession?

The peeing thing wasn’t weird?

3. What are you wearing today?

Jeans, flip flops, and a breast feeding blouse in a lovely shade of lilac. You know which ones I mean…easy in and easy out? OK….I know…I haven’t breast fed in almost 2 years….I know I know…however, I’ve convinced myself that this particular blouse hides a multitude of flaws and I. Will. Not. Give. It. Up. ...not until I’m a size errr…single digit.

4. Why is today special?

Every day is special…I’m in love.

5. What would you like to learn to do?

I’d like to learn to base all of my decisions on faith rather than fear.

6. What’s the last thing you bought?

Ridiculously expensive hair care products…but don’t tell HIM!

7. What are you listening to right now?

The sounds of my children avoiding sleep. The dishwasher running. The grumblings of aftershock earthquakes.

8. What’s your favorite season?

Spring and Fall – the Awakening and the Slumber.

9. What’s your most challenging goal right now?

To stay in the moment and not think about the next thing I need to do.


10. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

I like Cheryl and her blog – I like peeking into her life and finding a real person with real joys and real problems. Thank you Cheryl!

11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure?

Going into the bedroom to fix the bed/get the laundry/find something/some great act of sainthood, but instead, grabbing a book and laying down for a few minutes of literary pleasure. Oh yeah…I’m a bad girl.

12. Favorite vacation spot?

Anywhere with my guy is pretty spectacular. And Italy is always my number one spot…however…a vacation in Santorini, Greece that I took a few years back stays in my memory as one of the most spectacular places I’ve ever been. I’d like to go back and spend a few weeks with him there…and the children…enjoying the life.

13. What would you like to have in your hands right now?

4 tickets to Santorini, Greece along with three months paid vacation. Is that too much to ask?

14. What would you like to get rid of?

I’d like to get rid of all the anxiety that I’ve quietly and insidiously taken on in the last five years.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

I’d go to lunch at a little restaurant in a little town called Roggiano Gravina in Calabria, Italy with all of my cousins.

16. What bad habit do you have that you would like to terminate?

I have so many that it seems disingenuous to pick just one…and counter-productive.

17.What super power would you like to possess?

I am a woman – I already have super powers – I just need to cultivate them.

18. What is the one thing that you have done in your life that you are the most proud of and if you had the chance to do it again you wouldn't change a thing?

Hmmm…this is going to sound ridiculous to most of you…but breast-feeding my children for over a year each was one of the most challenging things and one of the things of which I’m most proud.

19. What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

A summery, crocheted black blouse – it’s crocheted on the top and on the bottom is a silk piece of colorful material that looks like a party. I wear this top with a pair of black pants and it looks like I’m ready for anything…especially a mixed drink!

20. What’s your dream job?

To be a writer. Ummm…a paid writer. OK. A very WELL PAID writer.

21. If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?

Books.

22. Do you admire anyone’s style?

Yes, I admire quite a few people for different reasons, fashions sense, composure, kindness etc.

23. Describe your personal style:

I like to wear versatile solid pieces and flavor them with good shoes and accessories.

24. Who’s fashion show would you want tickets to?

Anne Klein, Versace

25. If you could slap one person with no repercussions, who would it be and why?

Myself. I need a wake-up call most days.

26. What are you most proud of?

The life I’ve helped to create with my husband.

27. If you could choose one person who has passed to have lunch with who would it be and why?

My Dad. He died when I was 14 and I miss him. I want to have lunch with my Dad, my husband and my kids and I’d love to hear their conversation and enjoy the joy.


Now the rules of this tag:

1. Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention
2. Tag 7 other people you would love to learn more about. Here’s mine:

EVERYONE WHO READS THIS - PLEASE leave a comment and answer these questions on your own site - link back here so that I can go read them! Thank you again Cheryl!

****I invite The HIM to do the same!****

Mama, You Scream Too Much

on Thursday, May 7, 2009

While driving my 2 1/2 year old Little Girl to our Parent Participation Preschool Program (Hurrah for alliterations!), and searching songs that were being requested from her memory bank of fabulous songs, she dropped the following bomb, casually....


"Mama, you scream too much."

My heart stopped for just a fraction of a second and all the breath got sucked out of my body.

"What did you say, Sweetheart?" I asked gently....hoping she'd say "Mama, you mean so much" or "Mama, you clean too much" (yes..I know...reaching)



"Mama, you SCREAM too much", she said clearly.



"I do?" I asked. "Yes, you do!", she responded. "You scream all the time." she explained further. Matter of factly. Bluntly. Openly.



Tears filled my eyes.



"Daddy scream too much, too." she complained. "Nonna scream too much, too." she continued to rat us all out...with a shout out to her brother to end the outing. "Tonio scream too much too".



I asked gently, "Do you scream too much?" to which she replied...."Yes Mama, I scream too much."



I wanted to be thrilled that everyone else in the house had been implicated in the screaming, but the reality is that I am aware of my Dragon Mom status and that the bellowing starts at the top and screeches it's way down the totem pole.



  • I'm Italian - loud voices are normal.

  • I scream so that I can be heard over the kids screaming.

  • I scream out of frustration.

  • I scream out of habit.
  • My speaking voice kinda sounds like a scream?

I always feel bad about it. (Does that make me human or a rationalizing bastid?)

I wanted so badly to pull over, shine a light over my angelic little curly tops head and ask my little one to DEFINE screaming, you know, in her opinion. But I didn't want to alarm her and I was kinda hoping she'd forget about it before we arrived at the Child Development Parent Participation class and told all the other mothers my dirty little secret.

I honestly want to be the Mom who calmly intervenes when she spots the children pulling the dogs ears in seperate directions and hanging on to the tail as the poor animal is running for safety, but I tend to be the mom who inhales as if she's witnessed a drive by shooting and I start to yell.

I long to be the Mom who calmly goes to my 4 year old and gently hugs him after he's slapped the crap out of another kid and asks what he was feeling and what made him do that. But my honest to goodness first reaction is to quickly assess and bellow from where ever I am, "Knock it off!"

I honestly feel bad about my nut job reactions to the 6th time I've told one of the kids to stop whacking the other, through clenched teeth. I mostly regret my incredulous, bombastic intake of breath as one of my kids overflows the toilet. And I almost *GET IT* that screaming doesn't really do anything to change the behaviour but only serves to hurt and alienate my children.

And I guess it really isn't the big deal moments that cause me angst...it's the repetative small things like the constant nagging (me, not them) about washing hands, or the mind bending requests to pick up toys ...it's in those moments that my voice reaches it's highest decibals.

In my defense, I come from a family of screamers. In fact, I must be a push over because I would have never had the nerve to tell my Mom or Dad that they were screaming too loud....the fear errr..respect level was too high.

Anyway, I promised her that I would try very hard to control my temper and not scream. And I even meant it.

Any other screamers out there?