My Father

on Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My father died 25 years ago today. 25 years. He's been gone longer than the time I knew him. I was 14 years old. It was the worst day of my life. I've never felt so afraid and I've never felt so confused at the tilt the world took that day.


He was an amazing man with large brown eyes that when they smiled were brilliant and exciting, when at rest, gave you the most tender feeling of vulnerability and when angry were the scariest large eyes you can imagine. He was a loving man who put family before everything else.


I wonder, often, what it would be like to have him in my life now and how it would have changed so many things for me and my immediate family. I know everything happens for a reason, but 25 years of pondering hasn't given me a tremendous amount of insight. At 14, I was very clear that we are born to die and at the time I thought he was pretty old (he was 54 years old) and it seemed clear it was just the way things happen. As I'm quickly approaching 40 ...I realize daily how very young he was and what a loss this was for my mother.


Here's the tremendous part. This man who was my father, who loved me so well and taught me to value myself in a way only a good father can for his daughter...twenty five years later, I still think of him daily. He's still...alive...in so many ways...in my thoughts, in our stories and in my children. What a gift.

Score One for the Team!

on Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm basking in a victory.

Remember when I was freaking out about which Kindergarten to choose for my first child to be handed over to and ...molded. If not....go here.

Well....after much consideration, deliberation and angst we went with a private Catholic school. He started at the end of August with excitement and joy and more than a month in...he still likes it! Every encounter I have with the school underscores the feeling that we made the best decision for our family.

DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE IT IS FOR ME TO FEEL ABSOLUTELY AT PEACE WITH A DECISION OF THIS MAGNITUDE?

Well...pretty rare.

Remind me of this posts when they piss me off for the first time.

Anywho...we are taking Little Mr. Wonderful out of school to take him to San Antonio, TX along with little Miss and the Him. I have a business trip there that we are making into a Alamo and Riverwalk long weekend! Anybody have suggestions for must do activities in San Antonio? No pressure...but we leave tomorrow!

Lucky- Jason Mraz (10 Oct Hollywood Bowl Concert )

on Sunday, October 11, 2009

An afternoon at Pretend City with the kids was fantastic! An evening at the Hollywood Bowl with The Him and Jason Mraz was magical!

Pretend City - Pretend Blogger

on Saturday, October 10, 2009

OK. Here's the deal. My Guy has taken my Little Man and Little Girl to Little Man's Golf lesson. So since my "Captors" have left me to my own devices for an hour or so, instead of cleaning my bathroom, I will drop a note. I'm fine. My Captors are treating me well.

Life is good in captivity. However, captivity has not been good to blogging. So I've now realized I'm a PRETEND BLOGGER - I fantasize about what I'm going to write about...and even start posts.....but it's all a fantasy....

That being said.

I'm taking the little ones to Pretend City a brand spanking new Children's Museum in Irvine, CA. I'll let you know how it goes. Well...I'll start a post about it at least.

Hope you are all well!