Short and SO Sweet!

My two year old Little Girl (LG) had a little cough that came out of nowhere. So while putting her into her PJ's she started coughing and I asked "Little Girl, where is that cough coming from?".

She looked me in the eye and said "My mouth, Mama!".

Nearly killed me.

When Good Dogs Go Bad: The Gracie Story

Gracie is a Labrador Retriever and our first daughter. She will be 5 years old in January. We love her. This is her story.

I've always loved dogs. I grew up with some fabulous mutts, so has my husband. We both wanted a puppy.

We'd been married a year, just bought a house and were expecting our first baby. I was in the throws of the nausea, exhaustion and pure terror that only the first trimester of your first pregnancy can bring. So, good idea, lets introduce a puppy into the mix. We had visited the pound, checked the penny saver and finally found a breeder near our home who had some Lab puppies. We walked into this den of frolicking pups set on finding a *golden* lab when Gracie approached us, leaned on Eric's leg, and gazed at us. WE FELL IN LOVE, but were undecided. As we walked to the car, my sweetie and I looked at each other and voiced what we were both feeling. A puppy was adding a little too much to an already full plate. Phewww! We were on the same page: We just couldn't get the dog now. We were both a little quiet and disappointed on our drive home but by the time I woke up the next morning, I was convinced we'd made the right decision.

Apparently, my sweetie didn't get the sleeping memo.

He came home from work the next day with a leash in his back pocket and a little black lab puppy with enormous paws in his back seat.

I was thrilled.

I was annoyed.

I was pregnant!

Here she was, Gracie..., 6 weeks old and peeing on our new hard word floors. And she started growing at an alarming pace. She started gnawing on her stuffed toys that were roughly the size of a newborn infant. (insert scream here) I started having nightmares about a dingo eating my baby. I was beside myself. I was also home all day working full time telecommuting with a little puppy at my side. I had plenty of time to mentally stress. So I did what any other resourceful pregnant woman would do who grew up watching PBS reality self help TV shows. I called Uncle Matty, the dog trainer. I called Uncle Matty and cried. Here's how the call went:

(brrrring) <---ringing phone

Other Line: Hello, thank you for calling Uncle Matty's Training Center, this is Matty Margolis, how can I help you?


Me: (mid sob) Unnncccle Matty?

Uncle Matty: Yes. How can I help you?

Me: (sniffling) The real Uncle Matty?

Uncle Matty: Yes. It's me. What is your name Dear?

(at this point I'm having an out of body experience! My PBS hero is on the phone with me!)

Me: (actively crying now) Uncle Matty, My name is (Me), and my husband
brought home a big dog, and I'm pregnant and she won't listen (blowing nose),
and, and (stuttering on tears) and the dog is going to eat my newborn baby. What
am I going to do?

Uncle Matty: Ohhh, Me. It's OK. Do you know my wife's name is Me? Are you Italian?

Me: (trying to collect myself) Yes.

Uncle Matty: How nice. Me, your little puppy is not going to eat your baby
because we are going to teach your puppy how to behave and listen. OK. Take a deep breath. You are going to be fine, Me. How wonderful that you have given your child a friend.

Me: But you don't understand, Uncle Matty. My, (sob), husband agreed we shouldn't and brought home a dog anyway and now I'm home all the time and I'm so tired and , and I'm exhausted and, she won't listen and he won't listen and the baby is going to be here and, and...

Uncle Matty: Me, Me...it's OK. We are going to take that wonderful little puppy and teach her how to be your baby's best friend. We are going to teach you the tools to do that..... AND IT'S ONLY GOING TO COST YOU A BAZILLION DOLLARS! (he didn't really say that)

Me: OK. That sounds fine. I'm sure my husband will be happy to pay anything (to get me to stop crying!)

(I KNOW...I KNOW....I'm a whiner...but I was pregnant...and a dog was about to eat my newborn!!!)

So, Uncle Matty sent my new best friend to our house. Let's call her, Deb, because that's her name. Deb walked in and an hour later had Gracie sitting on command, peeing on the grass on command and had given us tips on keeping our baby safe and our dog safe from baby.

Can you hear the angel chorus now? Listen....there it is. Ahhhh.

Through those following months, Gracie became the most beloved, well behaved, exuberant, loving piece of work dog you can imagine. Through the following few years, she has become a best friend to both of my children and an absolute treasure of a dog. We feel so blessed to have her.

About two months ago, the angels chorus came to an abrupt halt. Grrrr.

We started noticing that food left on the table was missing. A piece of bread here... a plate full of breakfast left on the table in a vacant kitchen....now clean.

We've started noticing morning bathroom wastebasket raid remnants on the master bedroom floor.

How did this happen?!??!

How did a beautifully trained Lady turn into a Tramp!?!?!

Do you think Uncle Matty will remember me when I call for my refund?

You know what's funny? Five years ago my brain was hemorrhaging dealing with the peccadilloes of this little puppy. Now, a missing meal here....some ripped up trash there....annoying yes...a deal breaker??? A resounding NO.

Gracie is the first thing my daughter thinks of in the morning and last one she kisses good night. Gracie is the pillow on the floor for our kids during movies and a loving warm footstool for any of us who scratch her ears. She's my constant companion as I work at my computer and my fellow gardener when we are out in the yard. She is teaching my children joy, loyalty and that boundless enthusiasm is contagious.

Who knew good dogs going bad were my style?

It's a new day.

Is it me or does everyone seem a little lighter today?

I've got an idea! GO VOTE!

Want to feel POWERFUL, SMART, PURPOSEFUL, PATRIOTIC, PROUD?

GO VOTE!

You'll feel like a Super Genius!

Go vote and put this National Election Nightmare behind us!

And if you are undecided - Think Obama!

Dear Santa Claus,

Dear Mr. C.,

I love you. I really do. I've enjoyed your yearly visits and yes, in the early years I profited greatly from your drive-bys. As years went by, I have enjoyed being your helper and bringing your joy to the blessed season of Christmas.

I'm writing to ask you to please either disregard all requests from my children for additional toys or, if that seems too harsh, please magically double the square footage of my home so that we can have at least one room that doesn't look like it was shaken by an irritated giant gorilla and left in trauma and disarray.

In fact, if you can't pull off the whole square footage thing, I'd appreciate it if you'd back that bad boy sleigh right up to my front door and clear out any and all toys that are strewn around the room in a haphazard way.

Warmest regards,
The Mom

Does Anyone Else Do this? Or am I the ONLY Nut in the Class?

As my husband is leaving the house for work, to go to the store, etc., I absolutely, positively have to say "Be careful!" or "Drive safe" or some other life saving remark. If I don't utter the words and make them heard, I go absolutely spastic fearing he is going to be harmed in some way. I also have to add "I LOVE YOU!" or I call on his cell to make sure those are the last words he hears.

It gets worse.

When me and my Sweetheart leave the house *ALONE*, which is rare, the first conversation we have, every time, as we leave the drive way, is why we haven't arranged our WILLS in a more detailed fashion to take care of the kids in the event of our tragic death on the way for margaritas and a movie! This is on our way out for a fun night of light hearted banter.

That's not all.

Every time I have to travel without my family, I practically hold my breath until I get back for fear that my children will have to grow up without their neurotic mother.

Now, before you guys start to try and figure out my square footage to send the padding for my walls....all of this hysteria happens in the background of a somewhat normal and upbeat personality.

Does anyone go through this stuff since having kids?

Lawn Signs

While walking with my children through my neighborhood I've noticed something. 5 Bush/Palin lawn signs. 1 Obama/Biden lawn sign. The Obama/Biden sign is directly across from my home. I really like the people who have the Obama/Biden sign...they don't seem to have a Messiah complex. I also like the neighbors I know with the Bush/Palin signs...they don't seem deranged.

So I ask you dear reader, can you judge a house by it's lawn sign?

Ok. I just noted that I called the McCain/Palin signs Bush/Palin signs. hmmmm.

Halloweening

Tomorrow is the big night. Halloween has arrived and with it - all of the excitement of dressing in your best disguise, collecting candy from friends and neighbors and the joy of walking outside at *night*!

I've got two words for you - WONDER WOMAN! I can't remember exactly how many years I did my best impression of Lynda Carter with the help of aluminum foil, but it would be safe to say my Halloween appearances ran as long as the show! Various characters followed those buxom bosomless years - baby, flappers, pirates, Tigger, *THE* Virgin Mary...WHAT FUN!

Now my kids are feeling the magic and excitement of this holiday where we all get the chance to dress up and anticipate the night! Tomorrow morning my children will wake up and enjoy the day as a 4 year old train loving boy and a 2 year old dog loving girl....but by night....they will walk the neighborhood as Curious George and The Man With the Yellow Hat.

The build up to Halloween has been phenomenal and the fun of making the Man with the Yellow Hat costume has been so rewarding! Watching those little eyes light up every day when they see one new piece of the costume puzzle has spurred me on. We've all had a part - The Mom (that's me!) worked on the hat and the tie - The Dad worked on the footwear and shirt - and the Nonna (that's the Grand mom) made the brightest pair of pants I've ever seen. It was a group effort! Maybe that's the real magic...working on a project *together*!

Indulge in candy! Suspend your disbelief! Bask in the magic! Enjoy your little ones!

Happy Halloween!


BOO!

Phillies WIN the 2008 World Series!

Say it with music! Woo Hoo!

The Machiavellian in me has been defeated!

I started off this presidential campaign with glee....I had a huge amount of fun handicapping the Democratic race. Hillary vs. Obama!! I being the Republican golfer in the family was looking on with glee at these two beating themselves up. I even...yes I was one of those Republicans..that sent money to Hillary's campaign to keep her afloat. I wanted to see a convention fight. How much fun?!! Let them expend all their energy and have McCain sweep in. The wife will deny that I felt this way but I was impressed by the grandiose of Barack's speech at the convention. I found it utterly brilliant what McCain did, the next day in announcing Palin the day after Barack's speech. Barack was off the radar map at that point. It was a brilliant move. Would have been an even more brilliant move if they would have briefed her for...oh...maybe 2 months. As time wore on I became very disenchanted with the McCain camp...not for so much their message but how they were running their campaign. Obviously plucking someone that has no national experience or even interest until now and plopping her in front of a nation to pick over was not the smartest move from that camp and really was his down fall. When he started to loose his base, he starting losing this election. He has in this process lost me.

I can not support the other side of the ticket because I just believe ,and I hope that I am wrong, that he has a desire for economic wealth distribution in mind for this country. I have found it troubling that he has...as witnessed in his own voice...said that the constitution and those that framed it left a fundamental flaw in it and it still pervades today. He mentions that the constitution tells us what the government can't do to it's people. If does not though state what it can do for them...ie...wealth distribution. It's not a good platform to stand on in a capitalistic society.

I really can't support my party this time. I am so disappointed in Bush I can't see straight. He has spent this country's money like a drunken sailor. He has cozied up to the leader across the border too openly too. Immigration control was a big reason I supported him. He turned out to be Mexico's best friend and proceeded to do nothing for the problem that is undocumented visitors being a drain on the border states of this country. It's one thing if you want to let them stay...It should be the responsibility of the US government though to compensate the states for them....AND THEY DON'T!!

McCain, with his mismanagement of his campaign, has just depressed me to no end. I just can't support him anymore. I am voting this next week. I still want to be able to complain :) I am predicting an Obama presidency though....there is no more to be Machiavellian about :( On to 2012.

Sneaking off the Goo Goo Ga Ga

It had been 4 years and 2 or so months since my wife and I have spent more than 4 or so hours alone...by ourselves....during the day :) I mention this because for our anniversary we decided somewhat independently of each other, that we had a desire to visit a local amusement park for our anniversary. It really was a "ya know this is kinda weird but do you want to go to Disneyland for our anniversary" I was happily surprised to hear her say that "I had the same idea".....OK! That is settled....how do we accomplish this feat? We managed to put together 2 baby sitters for a close to 12 hour visit. You have to realize that it really took the planets aligning for this to happen. We are ever grateful to our sitters and we intend to hit them up again in the future :) Not too soon though :)


I want to thank the wife, the mom, for a wonderful day of amusement, talking, and holding hands. I truly treasure the time I spend with her. We have so little time to just sit across from each other and gaze...being thankful for all that 6 years has given us. It was difficult to be selfish on our trip though... to the park that our kids looooove....but hey...it was our day. Not that the kids didn't come up often. On a few occasions we mentioned that the kids would love this or that. We had to actually catch ourselves and be selfish with Mickey, Minnie and Friends for a day.


In closing, I would like to let everyone know that we had a wonderful day at the Magic Kingdom...few rides...good conversation...good food...and closed it off with fireworks!! We are now back to the fireworks that are our children and gleefully we are back on the Goo Goo Ga Ga train. ALL ABOARD!!!